Time for a total SausageFest: Promote Chorizo!

Why should such a spicy sausage skilled in spanish have to languish in the minors?

The AP reported yesterday (click the headline for the link) how the Latin influence on the game has expanded to the mascot ranks with Chorizo, the newest competitor in the Klement's Sausage Race at Miller Park. I think it's great we have a south-of-the-border counterpart to Hot Dog, Bratwurst, Italian and Polish. But his only race this season will be on Saturday until he gets full-time work at every home game next year. Until then, he's in the minors. To that, I say "¿Que?" Let the wienerman run!

Is this just another case of The Man holding us down? Sure, we're good enough to run ballclubs ala Minaya, win MVPs ala A-Rod, and command dugouts ala Alou. But run around a ballpark in a foam costume and bust your buns trying to ketchup to your fellow weiners? That's when the head honchos step in and say: "Hey, slow down, "Spanish Guy". You're pushing it." (assuming the man inside the costume is as Latino as his second skin, if not, is he considered one when part of the total package?)

Putting my paranoia aside, maybe Milwaukee Brewer GM Doug Melvin is just looking out for Chorizo's best interests. Maybe after meeting with a personality coach they realized this Chorizo needed some Huevos, so they're giving him more time to cook. Perhaps he's not in playing shape and needs to run with other younglings on the Porkmeat Prospects. (We'll see if that's the case during the Brew Crew's tussle versus the Reds.) Or Melvin's avoiding a PR nightmare in this Post Steroid world and wants to hide an inconvenient truth: the man inside the giant squishy sombrero/sausage suit tested positive for HGH (Human Gag Hormone).

But i propose a simple measure to keep Chorizo out of the farm system and into everyone's digestive system: "Win and He's In." If the Latin Link burns the competition in his debut, he should earn an automatic spot. And whatever happens tomorrow, wiener be warned: No matter the success you find, behave yourself or you might get grilled by the media.