Time for a total SausageFest: Promote Chorizo!

Why should such a spicy sausage skilled in spanish have to languish in the minors?

The AP reported yesterday (click the headline for the link) how the Latin influence on the game has expanded to the mascot ranks with Chorizo, the newest competitor in the Klement's Sausage Race at Miller Park. I think it's great we have a south-of-the-border counterpart to Hot Dog, Bratwurst, Italian and Polish. But his only race this season will be on Saturday until he gets full-time work at every home game next year. Until then, he's in the minors. To that, I say "¿Que?" Let the wienerman run!

Is this just another case of The Man holding us down? Sure, we're good enough to run ballclubs ala Minaya, win MVPs ala A-Rod, and command dugouts ala Alou. But run around a ballpark in a foam costume and bust your buns trying to ketchup to your fellow weiners? That's when the head honchos step in and say: "Hey, slow down, "Spanish Guy". You're pushing it." (assuming the man inside the costume is as Latino as his second skin, if not, is he considered one when part of the total package?)

Putting my paranoia aside, maybe Milwaukee Brewer GM Doug Melvin is just looking out for Chorizo's best interests. Maybe after meeting with a personality coach they realized this Chorizo needed some Huevos, so they're giving him more time to cook. Perhaps he's not in playing shape and needs to run with other younglings on the Porkmeat Prospects. (We'll see if that's the case during the Brew Crew's tussle versus the Reds.) Or Melvin's avoiding a PR nightmare in this Post Steroid world and wants to hide an inconvenient truth: the man inside the giant squishy sombrero/sausage suit tested positive for HGH (Human Gag Hormone).

But i propose a simple measure to keep Chorizo out of the farm system and into everyone's digestive system: "Win and He's In." If the Latin Link burns the competition in his debut, he should earn an automatic spot. And whatever happens tomorrow, wiener be warned: No matter the success you find, behave yourself or you might get grilled by the media.

Heat-Activated Unit: Johnson Ks 7 in Texas, Yanks Win

Randy Johnson looked like a total stranger on the mound tonight. The man he impersonated? His old self. The Big Unit took control of the Texas Rangers lineup, overpowering them with plenty of first pitch strikes and his vintage slider, fanning 7 and giving up two runs on seven hits in six innings of work. He improved to 11-8. Johnson made the first mistake of the game, a solo shot by Mark Texiera in the 2nd inning. But the Yankees answered in the top of the third with back-to-back triples by Melky Cabrera and Derek Jeter to even the score at 1-1. After that the Unit kept working out of trouble, and his Rangers' counterpart, Kevin Millwood kept running into it. He gave up a double Miguel Cairo that scored Bernie Williams and Alex Rodriguez to give the Yanks a 3-1 lead in the 3rd and a homer to light-hitting Aaron Guiel in the 6th. A-Rod hit into a fielders choice and connected on a double to round off the scoring for the Bombers.

Line of the night: Melky Cabrera. The Melkman delivered with: 2 Runs, Single, Double, Triple, SB, BB

Wacky Moment: With the Rangers threatening in the 5th inning, Cabrera cut down Texiera after he overslid 2nd base. Cairo wound up tagging Texeira right in the face. Hmm, leather's yummy...

Trevor Cough-man: Padres Closer Chokes, AL wins 3-2

The Padres longtime closer, who owns the second most career saves in MLB history, couldn't seal the deal in Tuesday night's 77th All-Star game. He gave up a two-run triple to the Texas Ranger's Michael Young in the top of the 9th inning in a game the National League squad desperately wanted to win. He came in with a 2-1 lead and gave up a single to Paul Konerko and and a ground-ruled double to Troy Glaus before Young's low, rolling gapper gave the American League the victory.

A couple of things that ticked me off during the game:

}{The ridiculously long interviews Joe Buck and Tim McCarver had with Managers Joe "I manage by doing nothing" Garner and Ozzie "Insert your favorite expletive here" Guillen. Both managers claimed that since "This one counts (again)", they would be taking the game seriously—Ozzie even went as far as saying he would manage like it was the 7th game in the World Series. But in a regular season game, they would've stopped the interview after two minutes, and only had it between innings. Now, i know this was an exhibition match, but at least try to manage and not talk for a half-hour while your team needs steering. Garner said that he would just let his team "do what they want and let them play." Great strategy-until Trevor's hiccup. Now, that's not Garner's fault but...

}{What about Alfonso Soriano's base-running attempt on Vernon Wells? Aside from the fact that he had a Kool-Aid smile the entire run down, his slide wasn't the best, and with one out, why not wait until the next batter makes contact to make a move for home? If you're gonna run, run a little harder, with a look of determination so it at least LOOKS like you're trying.